The Semi-Official Blog of the Super-Official White Russian Army

I’ve made a terrible mistake

Amanda M. — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 18:50:51 +0000

Since I foolishly allowed people at work to be aware of my other blog I’m completing my takeover of this one. Although how I’ll find time to post is a matter for Stephen Hawking to debate with the ghostly specter of Einstein.

But here’s today’s topic. Punkass football players, their fragile psyches and how it’s ruining football and who’s to blame.

I’m going to say this and then not back any of it up. I don’t play football and I’m sure it hurts. I’m also sure those Marys make more in a game than I’ll see in my lifetime, have privileges that are unavailable to the general public and are generally don’t have to do common things, like clean their own uniforms. But taking a look at the most recent diva behavior (Moss) and you can see why I feel this way. Suck it up and earn your keep.

Don’t get me started on Cutler.

So here’s who’s to blame. The sportscasters. Yes the sportscasters. Those football rejects who’s own glory days are over or never started who spend no less than an HOUR before the game trying to wring some human element from the game. Like a football game is going redeem some of these clowns. That their struggle to overcome adversity will end with the victory of this game. It’s the most overblown and unnecessary of sports coverage you’ll find around. Just play the game. How hard is that. Name me any other sports league that spends so much time chatting with the players about their struggles and feelings. PLAY THE GAME. Get out there, complete some passes, go home and count your money. But in the meantime stop talking and PLAY THE GAME.

And get me an officiating schedule so I can see some Ed Hochuli games.

I’ll leave you with this…

How not to get hired

whiterussianarmy — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 17:25:46 +0000

I’ve been thinking for a while now that I should probably spruce up my resume. You really never know when you’ll need it, and it’s a lot easier to look at it once every few months to update than it is when you have to think back to “now when did I work there?”

When I send out cover letters and resumes (I’m not looking, but in general) I’m extremely careful to find the correct contact, spell their name correctly, touch on what the company does, request a position I know is available and how my skills would work to their advantage, etc. It’s not a generic “Dear Hiring Manager, I’m looking for a position with your company”. That drives me batty. I know that I might not always be the perfect person for the job, but I can at least make an attempt at it and prove that I do have the general skills that a competent worker should.

That being said, I’ve come across plenty of horribly butchered resumes over the last few years from students looking for an internship. We offer a non-paid position, but now is the time to practice. If you sent some of the garbage I’ve seen onto an employer, I’m sure they’d laugh even harder than I have.

Please enjoy my collection of “How Not To Get Hired: Resume boo-boo’s and no-no’s”

Case #1

Objective:

My main objective is to acquire an internship, and to use the skills that I have learned to accelerate my ability in the television industry.

Peanut Gallery Commentary: You are applying for radio.

Case #2

Broadcast Skills: Sony MD & CD players, writing and recording commercials, live board operations, and Promotions.

Peanut Gallery Commentary: You know how to work a CD player? I’m happy to see the play and pause don’t get confused.

Case #3

Work Experience:

[December 2009- Current] [Chase Bank] [Wilmette, IL]

[Teller]

[Cash handling, Customer Service achievement, Outgoing personality]

Peanut Gallery Commentary: Please tell me HOW you get a job in the future. At least she’s got job security.

Case #4

My name is XXXXXXXX and I am extremely outgoing and entergetic ! I have even had my own television show ”MADE” on MTV! and I have been a model in many national hair shows.

Peanut Gallery Commentary: 1) Spelling mistakes are underlined for you. Really, you can’t take a sec to look at that? 2) Yeah, but I was on “True Life: I’m From the Projects” and I know how to cut a bitch.

Case #5

– Film Credits: “The Fugitive” (extra)

Peanut Gallery Commentary: I’m glad she wasn’t attacked by the one armed man!

Case #6

Dear Ms. Zdanowskio

Peanut Gallery Commentary: My name was spelled THREE times like this. Apparently my last name changed when I got married to Mr. Zdanowskio. I hope he’s hot!

Case #7 Hello Angie

I am looking for a internship

Peanut Gallery Commentary: And I am looking for a apple.

Case #8

Work Experience – A Certified Mystery Shopper.

Peanut Gallery Commentary: Wow.

Case #9

The Anytime Shopper – CEO/President/founder.

This is a Personal Shopping, Lite Errand Service. I also started this Company this year in 2008. I Love to shop and wanted to help those who just hate it, Those who due to illness, Medical problems or Disabilities may need my help and Assistance. I also Assist Extremely Busy Corporate and Professional People who

Travel frequently or work Extremely long hours.

My Company also Run Lite Errands as well.

Restrictions do Apply. This Company office will

Not open until after my internships are Completed.

Peanut Gallery Commentary: She opened three companies in 2008….I thought this was the best. My favorite is that there are restrictions and that her company hasn’t really opened their doors yet. Too bad, I need some “Lite” errands run. No pun intended.

On a closing note, never, NEVER, send your picture unless you’re sending it to a modeling agency. ::cringe::

12 Steps to Dating Freedom

Amanda M. — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 18:53:53 +0000

Step #1 Admit you have a problem – ”Hi my name is Amanda and I have an unhealthy obsession with Hot Men. Like this one…

Step #2 Find a Sponsor – Ask a friends, loved one or pet to support you while you struggle with the urges to do stupid things, like call him back or Facebook stalk him.

Step #3 Join a Support Group – The White Russian Army is currently taking applications. Requirements are a bottle of Kahlua and mad Karaoke skills.

Step #4 Take this Quiz – “Guy Crazy or Guy Cool-Which are you?” I’m a Moxie in Moderation whatever that means. I heart Teen quizzes!

Step #5 and I’m out. Who needs 12 any way? If you have any good ones, leave em in the comments. Commander Amander out!

Bored and empty

whiterussianarmy — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 18:07:39 +0000

I’m bored, and my head is void of any exciting posts.

I wanted to google and post the 12 step recovery program for a breakup, but when I did I got some lame sites with lots of flowers and “find your inner self” crap. I decided to not look anymore at work, since I probably looked very desperate and lame. Besides, I think between all of the WRA, we could come up with a much better 12 step program.

And the sneezing doesn’t stop. Why. Stupid allergies. The coffee cup makes me laugh!

I hope I didn’t break the blog

chriswaar — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 22:18:41 +0000

I’m posting this from the wordpress app on my iPhone. I hope I didn’t break the blog. Who knows what I just did! Is everyone okay?!?!

Discuss amoungst yourselves…

Amanda M. — Wed, 03 Dec 2008 15:29:02 +0000

Since it was in the New York Times I guess White Russians are going to be the next post on Stuff White People like. And then I won’t be able to enjoy them without some irony. This just reaffirms that I need to get to Lebowski Fest soon. I do object to the author calling White Russian drinkers “hipsters.” Because one day the hipsters will move on and the WRA will still be here to serve, protect and mix a damn good Caucasian. Enjoy troops.

I do this to myself…

Amanda M. — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 15:55:31 +0000

I say every year, I’m not going to watch any new shows. I say this for a number of reasons, I’m too busy (so true) most new shows are crap, I follow too many already, I don’t have cable. With more shows online now it is insanely easy to access TV, without the TV. I’ve watch two shows this week on actual TV, Frontline and Nova. Yes this is because most of my TV viewing is between the networks and WTTW. But also I’m not home at nights to even watch stuff on the networks when they air. I totally agree that in the future we’ll watch all our TV, commercials and all, through the web.

Sidetracking back, my entertainment source Aint It Cool News summarized the Hollywood Reporter on where the fall shows stand for continuing. Almost every show I watch is on the bubble and all the crap ones I avoid are likely to continue. WTF. Really? How does this happen? Everytime. I watched like two ep of Moonlight fulling intending on catching up later, cancelled. Loved New Amsterdam, midseason on Fox. Cancelled. Pushing Daisies cut short because of the strike and is now in peril. The first 2 ep of the Ex-List were hilarious and warm, bubble land. But Knight Rider is expect to go to Christmas? Huh?

I do it to myself though. I’m a narrative person, I get invested in the story, very much like my reading habits. I need to know how it end, how it all ties together. And I’m fiercely loyal too, friends, sport teams, Project Runway contestants, (Yay Leanne!!). I’ve been cheerleading for Pushing Daisies since I saw the Pie-lette at ComicCon ’07. I can’t have my heart broken anymore by characters that stick around for 13 ep and then are gone. Instituting a new rule, must have 2 complete seasons before I’ll start watching. I have to do it, I have to protect myself. Or start making my own TV. Which I hear has gotten very easy since this thing the Internet started.

Super excited!…

Amanda M. — Wed, 15 Oct 2008 20:45:36 +0000

Went online today to get my absentee app filled out and sent it. Perused the sample ballot while I was there and holy cow is there some crazy stuff to vote on in my little corner of the world. I’m still registered to vote at home, mostly because I move around Chicago too much to bother and also because it’s more fun to participate when I know the people and by know I mean went to grade school with their kids. Yep, formerly know as Luke’s mom is running against a 15 year incumbent. As I was explaining that usually happens when someone’s pissed off enough to get on the ballot. And get this crazy, I’ll be voting on a referendum for carry concealed weapons in the county!! Now I have no clue which way this is going to go but for my money, I know people at home and the obscene amounts they drink. So no, I will not be voting yea. This isn’t Texas, or Sparta. And to cap it all I became a supporter on Facebook of my favorite politician…the Double D. Who? Assistant Senate Majority Leader Dick Durbin baby. Love this guy. You might have seen him introducing Barack Obama at the Democratic National convention. He’s one of the best, really. Heart him.

Moral of the story, forget Diddy, I’ll come after you if you don’t vote, Angie.

Bored…so bored

Amanda M. — Wed, 08 Oct 2008 16:06:03 +0000

So what do I do when I’m bored yet have tons of homework to do? I blog. About absolutely random things.

I didn’t watch the debates last night. Gasp in fright! I know who I’m voting for. What will raising my blood pressure so close to bed help? I donated, got my button. I’ve also try avoiding coverage of anything election related. I expanded that ban to include the economy. Until I have to knit my own socks there’s really nothing to be done. By me at least.

Funny Observation: I was gathering my belongings and self to get off at Lake and I took an inventory of the people around me. This is really the best part of riding public trans, not just for the crazies, but observing the average person, what they’re doing (I always do a reading/blackberry survey, more readers in the am, more blackberries in the pm), what they look like (many attractive “average” people out there) and of course what they wear. There were three North Face fleeces standing next to each other waiting to get out and one other unidentifiable fleece. Stuff White People Like #87. I can’t talk, I was wearing one too, but in my defense it wasn’t North Face and I stole it fair and square from Lost and Found at the South Fields. I just found it amusing that three unrelated people made the exact same outerwear choice this morning (cool with light rain).

So I did something very Library today. I waited to shelve a bunch of books all at once. And I put them on a cart and rolled the cart to the stacks!! And yes, I’m sure you picture this is what I do all day but no. Since the Library is so small I usually just carry them over and make stacks on the ledges. But today I used the cart, as it was meant to be used. So Library.

I think the start of my Fall rut is kicking in. Its a mixture of summer regret of not doing everything I wanted to, being over the excitement of new classes, sorrow at the prospect of another Chicago winter and a little bit of self pity. It is just a blah time. Bored, bored, bored. I need stimulation.

Side note – Saw a band on Sat, Atomic Tom. Pretty good.

I heart my CTA

Amanda M. — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 22:54:49 +0000

Taking the CTA is always an adventure. Some pervert was getting off on inappropriatly touching women on our crowded 147. Luckily the driver at Foster reported the creep. It is also a full body workout too, staying upright.

Went to ILA conference at Navy Pier today. ILA is kinda like Comic Con only smaller and for library nerds. It was fun though and a day off of work!

Busy busy weekend. Bachlor/Bachlorette party tomorrow. More conference Friday. D’s wedding Sat. I’ll sleep next week.

PS – digging wordpress for the iPhone.